The nurse led me through a vanilla colored hall where several examination rooms are connected. She opened a door on the left and gestured me to enter.
The room has pink walls and I mentally noted that who ever designed the room has a good background on color theory. Pink is said to could calm a person.
Another door mirrors the door which I entered. I briefly wondered where it leads to. A pink bed rests at the center of the room and beside it is the now familiar sonogram. The accordion door on the right side of the room opens to a changing room.
The changing room is well lit and even has a wide mirror (no grappling with my clothes in the dark – check!). A pile of clean-smelling pink gowns on the wooden shelf (check!). Laundry basket awaits for used used gowns (check!). Ample space for my things on the shelf (check!). Satisfied, I grabbed one clean gown and changed. Hahaha! The one-size-fits-all, duster-look-alike gown did not fit me at all. It could perfectly hold a person twice my size!
I went back to the main room wearing the gown – I have no other option. I lay down on the bed. The nurse fussed around a bit, politely told me to wait for the doctor and then she left.
Me. Room. Alone.
I was glad to have that solitary time, even if it was only for a minute. It is a moment to take a deep breath and gather courage. To focus. To pray.
Pray that it wont be too cold this time.
What I really dread every time is the algid coldness of the gel. As it is smeared on my skin, I get goosebumps and my heart starts to beat faster. I really hate it. It was as if an unknown fear has gotten hold of me.
The pink walls, pink gown and pink bed did not help to calm me.
It has long been a challenge among designers to make hospitals homey and friendly for a couple of reasons. Many proposed patterned wall prints, certain colors, indoor plants, more windows, framed pictures and paintings, etcetera.
As I dumped my gown in the laundry basket after the examination, I realized one thing. Perhaps doctors and designers may have missed one thing. I have heard of stories of people remembering certain cold things in hospitals — the cold table, the cold knife, the cold clamp, etc. Perhaps something could be done about these things.
In my case, the cold gel. Perhaps, I just needed a warm gel to make me comfortable during examinations. Perhaps.