The nurse led me through a vanilla colored hall where several examination rooms are connected. She opened a door on the left and gestured me to enter.

The room has pink walls and I mentally noted that who ever designed the room has a good background on color theory. Pink is said to could calm a person.

Another door mirrors the door which I entered. I briefly wondered where it leads to. A pink bed rests at the center of the room and beside it is the now familiar sonogram. The accordion door on the right side of the room opens to a changing room.

***

The changing room is well lit and even has a wide mirror (no grappling with my clothes in the dark – check!). A pile of clean-smelling pink gowns on the wooden shelf (check!). Laundry basket awaits for used used gowns (check!). Ample space for my things on the shelf (check!). Satisfied, I grabbed one clean gown and changed. Hahaha! The one-size-fits-all, duster-look-alike gown did not fit me at all. It could perfectly hold a person twice my size!

***

I went back to the main room wearing the gown – I have no other option. I lay down on the bed. The nurse fussed around a bit, politely told me to wait for the doctor and then she left.

Me. Room. Alone.

Good.

***

I was glad to have that solitary time, even if it was only for a minute. It is a moment to take a deep breath and gather courage. To focus. To pray.

Pray that it wont be too cold this time.

What I really dread every time is the algid coldness of the gel. As it is smeared on my skin, I get goosebumps and my heart starts to beat faster. I really hate it. It was as if an unknown fear has gotten hold of me.

The pink walls, pink gown and pink bed did not help to calm me.

***

It has long been a challenge among designers to make hospitals homey and friendly for a couple of reasons. Many proposed patterned wall prints, certain colors, indoor plants, more windows, framed pictures and paintings, etcetera.

As I dumped my gown in the laundry basket after the examination, I realized one thing. Perhaps doctors and designers may have missed one thing. I have heard of stories of people remembering certain cold things in hospitals — the cold table, the cold knife, the cold clamp, etc. Perhaps something could be done about these things.

In my case, the cold gel. Perhaps, I just needed a warm gel to make me comfortable during examinations. Perhaps.

Advertisements